Nobody prepares you for growing up. We all wish there was a guide of what to expect when we reach adulthood but unfortunately we just have to try to figure it out for ourselves! The main thing I wish I was prepared for was to lose friends in my 20s. I found that as soon as I hit my twenties my friends started dropping one by one. Though, I have learned that this is okay. Here are reasons why we lose friends in our twenties!
IT’S OKAY TO ONLY HAVE A FEW FRIENDS.
I have found that friendship is like writing an essay, it’s quality over quantity. Though you find people look for the quantity, it is better to cut it down to having just the people in your life who are good quality. As you reach your twenties you find that you are now able to count your friends on your one hand. This is okay!
IT’S OKAY TO HAVE A WIDER FRIENDSHIP GROUP.
Though you are now able to count your friends on one hand, you may find that these do not all gather into one friendship group. One may fall into old school friends, whilst another falls into your current work friends. This is fine. It means that you are still able to have a busier social calendar without having to hang around with ‘fake’ friends.
YOU LOSE FRIENDS THE HARD WAY.
When you’re in school you tend to have arguments and fall outs, whereas when you turn into an adult you end up realising that you lose friends the hard way. When you leave school, keeping friends requires a lot more effort as you are not going to be seeing each other on a daily basis. This is when you come to realise who your true friends are. Usually you find it’s the people closest to you that put the least amount of effort!
PEOPLE JUST TEND TO CHANGE.
Even though we don’t want to believe it. people change as they grow older and sometimes it’s not always for the better. This usually means the people we are closest to turn into people we no longer want to know. This does not mean that the people we used to love are still there, they have just grow up and matured in a different way to you.
STOP HOLDING ONTO OLD FRIENDSHIP.
I always found this the hardest because your old friendships tend to be people you have known and loved for the longest. But those text messages you send to each other once a month telling each other how much you miss one another and should meet up, tend to be sent because you feel they have too and not because you really want to. So sometimes it’s best to just drift apart without any bad blood between you.
OLD FRIENDS BECOME VERY JEALOUS.
Don’t let your oldest friend make you feel as if you cannot make new friends. For them it tends to be okay to have a million friends and hang out with anybody and everybody but then they tend to HATE you hanging around with people when they are not there. Don’t think that you then have to make your old friends and new friends hang out together. Sometimes you just need to let them get over it and realise that you are allowed to hang out with other people.
SOME FRIENDSHIPS REQUIRE MORE EFFORT THAN OTHERS.
This one is a tough one, we always think it is easy to keep friendships but sometimes it is easier with some people than others. Don’t think that because you have to make a little more effort with some friends that you should cut them out of your life. This is not true. Some people tend to have busier lives then others and can’t always put you at the top of their priorities list. Sometimes you need to be the one to make the effort first!
YOU CAN MAKE NEW FRIENDS EVEN THOUGH YOUR AN ADULT.
Currently my closest friendships were formed in my twenties. Just because your now classed as an adult doesn’t mean that you can’t go out and make new friends. Sometimes this is when you find the people you can trust most and have also had bad experiences with friends.